Monday, June 25, 2012

Miss Kohler's 50 Writing Rules

  1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  13. Profanity sucks.
  14. Be more or less specific.
  15. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  16. One word sentences? Eliminate.
  17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  22. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
  23. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
  24. Avoid archaeic spellings too.
  25. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
  26. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
  27. Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
  28. Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
  29. Subject and verb always has to agree.
  30. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
  31. Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
  32. Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
  33. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
  34. Don't never use no double negatives.
  35. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  36. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  37. Eschew obfuscation.
  38. No sentence fragments.
  39. Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
  40. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  41. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
  42. Place pronouns in long sentences with10 or more words, close to their antecedents.
  43. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  44. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  45. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  46. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  47. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  48. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  49. Reread your work and you can find a great deal of repetition can be found by rereading.
  50. And always be sure to finish


  1. I might need to print these out and hang them in my writing space. I'm breaking several of them. Specifically numbers, 17, 30 and 50.

  2. Pam, these are hilarious. My favorite is "Prepositions are not words to end sentences with"

  3. Funny! Hilarious! (Oops, that would be breaking #25.)

    Number 50 is my favorite. Always be sure to finish. Yes. What good is the piece if you don't finish it? Which means that I better get to finishing my book!

  4. So glad you all are enjoying these "rules". Not sure who started them, but everyone who posts them seems to like to add a tweak so the list is every growing and morphing. :)