"Orphaned"
by
Patti Clugston
Is it odd that I
thought my parents would live forever,
Even when I knew
they wouldn't?
Even when doctors
said her life would soon end,
Something in my
head kept me from really believing it—
Even after she was
gone,
Even though I feel genuine pain in my heart,
Even when I can't
call her any more, or text,
Or sit with her
during church services
Ever.
On my birthday, my
Mom would tell me,
“The nurses thought
you were the most beautiful baby in the nursery;
They loved combing
your hair into a curl on top.”
I realize I will
never hear that story again—
Never.
The sadness presses
down on my chest like a mountain;
I can't take a deep
breath.
I really can't allow
myself to dwell on it too much.
Isn't there a pill
I can take to make the pain disappear?
The emptiness of
having no parents settles in;
I truly feel like
an orphan.
Now what?
Sell the house;
40 years of home—gone.
Gone,
Forever.
The roots of heartache
run deep.
Feelings return
from nearly 13 years ago.
He went first.
He’s has been waiting for her in paradise.
She suffers no
more,
But I do.
I will ache until
my end comes.
They are waiting
there,
Waiting for me,
Always.
