Orphaned

BuKge

"Orphaned"

by

Patti Clugston

Is it odd that I thought my parents would live forever,

Even when I knew they wouldn't?

Even when doctors said her life would soon end,

Something in my head kept me from really believing it—

Even after she was gone,

 Even though I feel genuine pain in my heart,

Even when I can't call her any more, or text,

Or sit with her during church services

Ever.

On my birthday, my Mom would tell me,

“The nurses thought you were the most beautiful baby in the nursery;

They loved combing your hair into a curl on top.”

I realize I will never hear that story again—

Never.

The sadness presses down on my chest like a mountain;

I can't take a deep breath.

I really can't allow myself to dwell on it too much.

Isn't there a pill I can take to make the pain disappear?

The emptiness of having no parents settles in;

I truly feel like an orphan.

Now what?

Sell the house;

40 years of home—gone.

Gone,

Forever.

The roots of heartache run deep.

Feelings return from nearly 13 years ago.

He went first.

 He’s has been waiting for her in paradise.

She suffers no more,

But I do.

I will ache until my end comes.

They are waiting there,

Waiting for me,

Always.